The Bakersfield Expansion
by Darkly Dreaming
Summary: My take on what would've happened had the episode continued. Canon pairings, but cat. as Shenny for reasons listed inside. (ie those that like to leave anon hate) ONESHOT. Story is K but A/N is T bordering on M.


A/N: So I was watching The Bakersfield Expedition and I thought I'd continue the episode and find out what would've happened once the guys entered. Cue comic canon research for Sarah! (Meaning I Googled Mjolnir and read the wiki page. If I got anything wrong, chalk it up to an AU or artistic lisence or something, idc. Most of this crap is coming from my head anyway.)

I promise I'm working on my Dr. Horrible AU. I'm about halfway done with it, but I need something to take my mind off that for a while so I can think. If you've seen MIB3, consider this my 'pie.' Gotta let the pie do its work.

Again, categorized as Sheldon and Penny even though the pairings remain canon and I utilized everyone, cuz I just know there'd be some butthurt Lenny or Shamy complaining about something or other, and I don't need or want that. Fuck you, don't read the gorram story, ben tian sheng de yi dui rou.

* * *

"How can Red Hulk be worthy?!" Penny exclaimed.

"You don't know his life!" Bernadette yelled right back.

The door opened and the Next Generation Enterprise landing party entered, fake guns aimed.

"Who are you and what have you done with our girlfriends?!" Jean-Leonard Picard asked, actually managing to sound somewhat authoritative while aiming a plastic gun at Penny.

Sheldata pointed his at Amy. "You're in my spot."

Penny tossed a sidelong glance at her and deadpanned, "Told ya he'd say it."

Raj the Klingon, rendered mute once more, just sat down at Penny's feet thinking _Everyone else has a girlfriend. Howard has a wife! All I have is Stuart and a dog that ignores me in favor of licking itself._

Borgward had circled around and aimed at Bernadette. "What are you? Body snatcher? Pod person? Shape shifter?" Bernadette fixed a glare at him and he shrunk back. "Okay, you're Bernadette alright, I love you sweetie, don't hurt me."

Bernadette's glare softened to a frown as she explained. "We just wanted to know why you guys like this stuff so much."

"Yeah," Amy said after she slid out of Sheldon's spot. "We didn't understand how you could spend hours arguing over stuff that wasn't real, so we went to the comic book store and asked Stuart to help us out."

"We settled on Thor," Penny continued, and the other two smirked, knowing Penny had picked him because he was hot. "And when we got back we read the thing and it was just so dumb."

Amy flicked her eyes over to Penny before looking back at Sheldon. "Penny thought the hammer was too heavy for anyone but Thor to lift, but it's a magical artifact, right? So it's not the weight of it, it's the enchantment." Sheldon nodded and opened his mouth to explain, but Penny interrupted before he got the chance.

"Well once I realized the thing was magic I was like 'Well if it's magic that makes sense that no one else could pick it up,' but they just wouldn't let it go. So we read it again and Amy pointed out that the hammer said 'Whoever holds this hammer, if he's worthy, may possess the power of Thor.'"

Now Bernadette interjected, "And I asked if the hammer decided who was worthy, to which Penny and Amy disagreed again."

"Amy said no," Penny recalled. "Because a hammer is a thing, and it can't make decisions. But I said yes, because if Harry Potter's wand can choose, why can't Thor's hammer? They're both magic."

"So we came over here and dug into Leonard's comics looking for an answer," Amy concluded. "As the resident experts, do you care to clarify?"

Again, Sheldon opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted, this time by Leonard.

"Most of the time we just accept it as a fact and move on to the plot. That's what's interesting." Raj and Howard nodded in agreement. Sheldon, on the other hand, looked annoyed.

"Simpler minds may accept it as fact, but there _has_ been explanations." He looked at each of them, daring them to interrupt him again. When nothing came, he continued. "The explanation that the hammer is magic, and therefore chooses who is worthy, is correct to a degree. Basically, it's the layman's explanation. The comparison to Rowling's wands is indeed an astute observation, and if we continue in that layman vein, they are similar. Good job, Penny." Penny smiled, gloating silently. Then Sheldon continued. "However, the magic behind the two are different. The magic in Harry Potter is innate. You're born with it. The magic in a wand senses the magic inside the user and the most compatible wand 'chooses' you. The magic in Thor's hammer, the Odinforce, is tied to Odin, and later on Thor, and therefor senses the intent and character of the potential weilder and deems him or her worthy or unworthy based on Odin's character-judging ability."

"HA!" Penny exclaimed. "Told you the hammer chose."

Bernadette, frowning again, interjected, "But if it's the Odinforce magic choosing, doesn't that mean that Odin's doing the choosing, even if indirectly?"

Leonard was about to agree with Bernadette, but it was his turn to be interrupted by Penny.

"Alright, I don't care anymore. Who wants to go dancing?"

Raj raised his hand, but then looked up, remembered his Klingon makeup.

Penny opened the door and said "Come on, Raj, we'll get you cleaned up and we can stop by your apartment on the way so you can change. Anyone else coming?"

"Count me in, Bestie," Amy stood, glad to get away from the comic book conversation.

Bernadette, on the other hand, ushered Howard out the open door and down the stairs. "I think we're just going to go home. Have fun."

Leonard debated before rushing to his room to change. Penny had been debating comic canon. Who knew what else she was willing to do after dancing and drinks tonight. Maybe a little cosplay? (When they got home afterward Penny said "No chance, Captain. Goodnight." and pecked him on the cheek.)

When they were gone, Sheldon finally pre-treated his Data uniform, showered extra long to get the desert grime off, and pulled on his pajamas.

A cup of tea was imbibed while Sheldon pondered how far he'd fallen that he was willing to follow Leonard's lead just because of a costume.


End file.
